if only, it would rain
so I may lie next to a piece of tin
and hear each drop speak words that soothe
feel the water float into my skin
waves crashing in my ears
cooling the fire in my eyes
if only, I was a pebble
moving with the breath of the ocean
my grey skin being polished by its touch
if only
sad reality
to wake and feel disoriented
like being woken harshly from a sleep
the eyes open, but the mind searches
body feeling heavy and unsure
happiness feels gone from movement and heart
only moments of relief exist
thundering sky calms this drop of water
hearing and watching the ocean breath
slows the blood rushing through my veins
pulling me to a former life, time, existence
what is memory
surely not just the recital of words that rhyme
tasks learned and repeated
faces with names embedded
routes and things we have been told
what then of memory
a memory of creation, single cells
memories of times erased through evolution
are they the free radicals that drive us
to write dots on waves to sing
to simplify words and never let go of that thing we feel
to paint for oneself so we can remember
to sit by great bodies of water, and feel love
to embrace the blessings of the clouds, and dance in its tears
to accept the idea that we did not always have skin
we may not have always breathed air or walked upright
we may have journeyed in the sky beyond our milky way
what I do know and feel is that we possess a complex mind and heart
so if I feel kin to the waves that crash upon the rocks
who is anyone to tell me I am wrong
april 2 2018
© tamaya
