they go off in the night
when the time feels right
to find a place that is soft and permanent
a place, hidden from passers-by
a place where they prepare to die
it saddens me
to imagine him alone
walking softly across the fields
so far from home
is it a trance or a meditative state
when they know so clearly
when they prepare and take the walk
do they sit in the dark and gaze at the moonlight
sending meditative signals to the afterlife
then wait till the porthole opens
somehow I don’t believe
that they review their life
that they sit in a pool of regret
counting the mice or chipmunks that got away
he became a memory of himself
so thin and yet the hunter never left him
seeing him walk across the field with a large gift in his mouth
laying it on the wooden planks
an offering, a gift a great achievement
he would then lie down with his back to it
shoulders off the floor like a sphinx
so proud and worthy of praises he received
how something so little in size
could fill so much space in my heart
the gap leaves me feeling weakened
so many lovely, sweet pets I love
the auntie that loves them
while their family travels
I believe that we don’t choose
connections with humans or animals
I believe in my Buddhist teachings
that a soul is a soul is a soul
whether we are human or not
the soul is what connects us
this little guy knew of his place in my heart
to look into his little face and feel his thoughts
not word for word
but understanding
compassion and comfort
last night I dreamt of a baby
I held it, wrapped it for warmth
held it so close to me
each with tearful eyes
believing that my heartbeat would keep its heart beating
the room, the blanket, the rooftops all white
sleep my prince, my friend
till we join hearts again
July 18 2018