what makes us live as if transfixed

frozen from the insides

breathing slowly

sitting,,, still,,,

no one thinking of you

where you are

what you are doing

you manifest into a white light 

what makes us unable to function

frozen within our steps

breathing blackness

sitting,,, listening,,, waiting

no one speaking of 

where you have not been

what you will do

you hide within the walls

of the shadow

every breath you take

thins the atmosphere 

shrinks in dimensions

who is this alien 

absorbing all the oxygen

squeezing out all of life 

we have come to know







if only, it would rain

so I may lie next to a piece of tin 

and hear each drop speak words that soothe

feel the water float into my skin

waves crashing in my ears

cooling the fire in my eyes

if only, I was a pebble

moving with the breath of the ocean


my grey skin being polished by its touch

if only


sad reality

to wake and feel disoriented

like being woken harshly from a sleep

the eyes open, but the mind searches

body feeling heavy and unsure

happiness feels gone from movement and heart

only moments of relief exist

thundering sky calms this drop of water

hearing and watching the ocean breath

slows the blood rushing through my veins

pulling me to a former life, time, existence 

what is memory

surely not just the recital of words that rhyme

tasks learned and repeated

faces with names embedded

routes and things we have been told

what then of memory

a memory of creation, single cells

memories of times erased through evolution

are they the free radicals that drive us 

to write dots on waves to sing 

to simplify words and never let go of that thing we feel

to paint for oneself  so we can remember

to sit by great bodies of water, and feel love

to embrace the blessings of the clouds, and dance in its tears

to accept the idea that we did not always have skin

we may not have always breathed air or walked upright

we may have journeyed in the sky beyond our milky way 

what I do know and feel is that we possess a complex mind and heart

so if I feel kin to the waves that crash upon the rocks

who is anyone to tell me I am wrong

april 2 2018

© tamaya