Familiar Sadness

 

 

her sadness 

                                                                                           was
so intense
                                                                                        that it

left an imprint
                                                                                       upon
on my flesh
                                                                                      my burning chest
when we held

my sister’s sadness
                                                                                       forever changed
etches deep in my flesh
                                                                                        mutated
I am consumed
my body
my mind
every memory
                                                                                     surfacing
feels woken
defrosted
                                                                                     wet and desolate
jolted from a placid state

a bandage ripping off a scab
exposing raw flesh

opening the dam
                                                                                     flooded
the heart’s intuition begins to flow
do i possess the strength
or am i just an
                                                                                   overwhelmed
sorrow addict looking
for her next fix
am i drawn to a familiar sorrow
ever encompassing sadness
                                                                                  is there such a thing
is there such a thing?

 

Upon reading. Editing and adding words and lines, I felt that two things were happening. I was recreating my poem by adding these words and lines. By the process of separating them I realized that a second poem was being created 🙂 thus I left the added lines to the right. The poem can now be read in three ways.

I Will Cry. I Have Cried.

Photo on 2016-05-28 at 4.28 PM

Paint on her fingers
the colour of the evening sky
if we look behind the eyes
we might see something different
something so sweet and fragile and full of love

‘a little black and white moth flutters to my finger then leaves’

stars on her toes will grant her entrance to the mad hatters tea
she will shine and fly and dance upon the sky

‘I smell the violet lilacs so large and full of beauty’
gifted memories stay with me
I will remember and I will adore
for no one leaves us forever

‘little black moth has come back again’
oh this time she brought a friend
a humming bird with singing wings

paint on her fingers
stars on her toes

may 29  2016Photo on 2016-05-28 at 4.27 PM #4

So here we are, again. Another friend has died of cancer. I do however feel strongly that this is the last one for a long time . There will be no more deaths near me for a long time. Do you hear that? Hello I’m talking to you. NO MORE DEATHS.

I  just wrote a long piece mostly ranting and complaining. I know I should not so I have deleted it all. I leave you with this thought.

I just feel that when a person dies my god they deserve some tears and sadness.

That’s it simple as it may seem, I want to see tears. Big mother Fucking Tears. Surely a life is worth that.