Widowed Without A Manual

Some of us grieve longer then others. I will not be rushed out of my love, that still inhabits my heart.

Slow Seems To Be My Only Speed

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Photo on 2016-05-25 at 9.19 AM #3

I have been having my challenges this month. From no water to replacing pump to re-soidering 10+ copper pipes need I go On? Here it is anyway. Pump worked for half an hour. Now I have a new tank and the well seems to have plenty of water for me, still I am cautious with this fact. I have been working the reflecting pools. This has been a good way for me to realize how much out of shape I have become. I persevere every day I continue like a blind fool I get up and start again. By the end of these days I have a shower, wash my daily clothes as I do this by lying them in the tub as I wash then when I’m done I scrub them and wring them out finishing with hanging on the country clothes line. Good ay?

The pools or ponds are beginning to take shape. I do have moments where I get very angry for my family not even asking but that soon fades for I would not want them here. It would be a whirlwind of telling me all the wrong things I am doing etc. They don’t have respect for my life with B and well without as well. The just don’t understand why I will not rent a room in the city and get old quietly. There is still some anger lingering in me, yes?

Photo on 2016-05-27 at 8.11 AM #2

Yesterday I made headways for I scraped all the old flacking paint off the west studio windows and played on the first layer of latex. I also restrung the grape vine whew I also spilled an entire new box of 3/4″ finishing nails on my path. …… No I did not loose it, I did not whimper, I just kept going waiting till I was so tired that it was a pleasure sitting on the ground picking up all  those tiny nails. I have seen a beautiful humming bird come three days in a row!!! What a pleasure that was.
Between you and me, I did have a small melt down. It was this process of the rhyme of
The old lady and the fly, remember? but mine is something like this.

There was an old lady who wanted to move, I don’t know why she wanted to move. She wanted to move to be near the ocean, she wanted the ocean to follow her heart, she wanted her heart to heal with the breeze . I don’t know why she needed the breeze. She needed the breeze  to heal her heart, she needed her heart to feel her passion, she needed her passion to pack her container, she needed her container to empty her studio, she needed her studio to sell the house, she needed the sale to buy a new house, she needed her house to be by the sea, she needed the sea to heal her heart. That is why she is selling her house So she wouldn’t die…

This rhyme just stayed with me yesterday because everything is connected to the other thing etc etc. So, to just work on one thing till the end just can’t be done at least with only me doing these things.

DSC_0235 (2)

Well this might be it for today. I have finished my breakfast at the local and I am now fully charged to go and buy a quart of white paint for the second coat on my windows.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Author: ilovecloudstoo

I live in Canada thought I was not born here. Newfoundland is where my heart breathes. Primarily I am a visual artist, welded and or cast bronze sculptures. Sylvia Plath may have been the seed planted in me that is creating poetry. Since then I have read so many great modern poets work. Art is my sustaining business poetry sustains my soul.

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