Widowed Without A Manual

Some of us grieve longer then others. I will not be rushed out of my love, that still inhabits my heart.

Seven Hundred and Thirty Days and Nights

1 Comment

October 2 1014

Two years.

Seven hundren and thirty days and nights.

When I think of waking up seven hundren and thirty times I feel exhausted.

I wonder to myself, why do I even commemorate this day?

The day my husband died!

Would it not be better , emotionally anyway to commemorate the first time we made love, or the first time we looked at eachother and just knew that a life had just begun.

Why do we commemorate when someone very dear to us left?

Poof!

Gone.

On that moment.

That split second, we become consumed with sadness.

There is a void. Black emptiness where someone once filled the space, now no more.

Like a lung collapsing,whusshhhhhhhhh.

It takes us a while before we can take a deep breath again.

A while before we fully understand that we are now alone.

While friends and family are vastly important it’s often better not telling them of this lonliness.

They take it personally, or feel insulted that their presents does not compare.

Days do get better. Meds help a lot.  

 

 

Grieving may be embarrasing to others.

Grieving is an extension of the love I feel.

For me anyway.

Everyone is different.

Today I feel an intense pain in my chest. I know its because my mind has learned how to shut things out, but the pain just shows up somewhere else.

Two years.

Seven hundren and thirty days and nights.

 

IMG_7465   IMG_7466

 

IMG_7467    IMG_7468

 

IMG_7469     IMG_7470

 

IMG_7471      IMG_7472

 

IMG_7473       IMG_7474

 

 

IMG_7475        IMG_7476

 

IMG_7477

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Author: ilovecloudstoo

I live in Canada thought I was not born here. Newfoundland is where my heart breathes. Primarily I am a visual artist, welded and or cast bronze sculptures. Sylvia Plath may have been the seed planted in me that is creating poetry. Since then I have read so many great modern poets work. Art is my sustaining business poetry sustains my soul.

One thought on “Seven Hundred and Thirty Days and Nights

  1. Oh dear Bruce. I can`t believe it`s been so long already.

    I have to say, this is one of the best posts I`ve read. Period. Loved it.

    You`re a strong woman. Someone I admire and am proud to know.

    You feel your grief wholly and express it honestly. I hope you realize how much this process has allowed you to grow. Even if you don`t see it yourself, it has. I see it. I know it.

    I love you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s