Widowed Without A Manual

Some of us grieve longer then others. I will not be rushed out of my love, that still inhabits my heart.

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I have to pack! I have to sort out all this stuff that I have been filling the rooms with and put them all in boxes. I have to pack!

HOw do you decide what is important? How do you thin out your possessions? How do you move on???

I just spoke to my dear dear friend. She is 4 years into widowhood and she was so torn up by a show she just saw. I am into 19 months and have just found out that last birthday I did not register my car. I can see the day. It was raining and I was getting a new photo as well. But now I can’t find record of doing that at all! How can that be????????????????????

I try so hard to concentrate but hay! I just put in three containers 2012, 2013 and 2014 paperwork. Ya I know I have not done two years of incometax paperwork. I haven’t been able to. I really have tried but maybe I’m just one of those that does not deal well with being a widow.

I can’t see a future for myself. I don’t say that for sympathy i just mean I really can’t see anything out there. I can’t really think of a future. If I do its always a small house or building by the sea but how can anyone live that way.

So I continue to live because I don’t have the courage to die. Again not looking for comments  or thoughts I am just stating the obvious.


Author: ilovecloudstoo

I live in Canada though​ I was not born here. Newfoundland is where my heart breathes. Primarily I am a visual artist, welded and or cast bronze sculptures. Sylvia Plath may have been the seed planted in me that is creating poetry. Since then I have read so many great modern poets work. Art is my sustaining business poetry sustains my soul.

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