Widowed Without A Manual

Some of us grieve longer then others. I will not be rushed out of my love, that still inhabits my heart.

Looking for the Compass

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Yesterday I received an update on a friend. The words ‘update’ will most certainly give you the hint for todays post.

Cancer, AGAIN! will be taking another beautiful person. B and I first met D on a trip to jamaica. He looked just like a certain movie star. He was there with wife number two I think, there were more to come hehehe. B and D were drawn to each other like flies to honey. We ended up spending most days together along with other sun and water faithfuls over looking the magnificent indigo and emerald waters of vic’s cafe on the point at negril beach.

Laughing is what comes to mind first when I remember the days. B would be there drawing all those beautiful figures and the girls, loving the artistic immortality would parade in front of them swinging their young nubile breasts. D loved being a part of this artistic life. So it goes without saying that there was a fair amount of ‘gold locks’ divvied up and rolled onto cigars.  There were also the days where the young entrepreneurs would come by selling magic- shomes as they said. Then the day was full of vivid colour and lobster salads under the canopy.

Needless to say a friendship for welded. D and wife #2 came to our wedding at the farm and a later visit he came with wife #3 🙂

We spend three weeks with D when he was a captain for a catamaran. It was wonderful actually feeling like we were living down there. Going to the locals pub where they all had post boxes for mail from the main land. It was so different then the life on the beach with ladies all braided up pretending to look like boderic :/

D was sensitive in his support when B fell ill and now here we are again. 

I have all these people that I love dying……. They tell me that death is something that comes with age and that we just have to accept it and get on. 

But Tell Me why we should GET ON! WHAT IS THE BLOODY POINT!!

I am also having to get ready to move. I have loving open arms that has invited me and I will gladly accept. But I am having such a hard time  finding direction and purpose. I am in month 18 and I am no more nearer to a healthy mind then I was 10 months ago.

I would so gladly give my life to D for he really seemed to enjoy his more then I do.

I wish there was a compass of life that could show us H for happiness.

 

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Author: ilovecloudstoo

I live in Canada thought I was not born here. Newfoundland is where my heart breathes. Primarily I am a visual artist, welded and or cast bronze sculptures. Sylvia Plath may have been the seed planted in me that is creating poetry. Since then I have read so many great modern poets work. Art is my sustaining business poetry sustains my soul.

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