There are so many days that I wonder how much longer this will last. I have been having a difficult time doing anything except paint canvas not walls! and sit and watch movies over and over.
My sisters have really tried to give me time to get over what they think they know of as grieving. Not one has had to experience the loss of a husband. Two have lost children and I can’t even imagine how hard that was and probably still is.
Today one sister needed to vent about another and somewhere in there I was able to intercept with my view. Mostly because all their problems stem from me taking so long to get over grieving.
I know that non of this will make any sence. I have not got the energy to put it all down. Suffice to say she repeated back to me
” i don’t know how you feel”
I can only try and tell you how I FELT when she said this.
HOLY SHIT! SHE HEARD ME!
you see I have three sisters waiting for their inheritance that I am living in, mama’s house. If and if I was of solid and balanced mind I would be out of here! You can believe it. But the truth is that I am mentally ill. I am grieving the death of my soulmate and husband. I am finding that so very hard to get past to get over to concur.
Grieving is not the same for everyone. My friend is doing so much better them me. A widower a month less then I he is doing much better then Me. Mind you I was with B for 32 years every day 24/7 [minus three weeks] He was with his mate I think 7 years, maybe more. That does not mean he felt less love then I I just mean more years.
In a world that cares:
I would live by the ocean in a gingerbread house with a studio. I would have enough money to live simply but always be able to buy art supplies. That is all I want in life/